Work in Progress

Today I woke up and I felt some kind of way. I don't know what it was, or why it was, but I felt something. Maybe it was the full moon, or maybe it's me letting go of things that caused me pain. Whatever it was, it was real and it didn't feel very good.

I was up late last night having the worst stomach pains that I've ever felt in my life. This morning I woke up later than I'd hoped, still did my work out, but still felt this weird sense of "offness". I can't explain it.

Anyways, I did not meditate when I woke up and I did not meditate yesterday either. I'm not sure if that had something to do with it, but it was a little battle in my head today. I kept hearing- go write in your journal, meditate, you'll be fine; but, my ego was telling me- what's the point, just deal with it. I don't know if any of you have ever felt like this before, but I thought it'd be good to share so just in case, you know you're not alone.

Let's just say that after some contemplation about whether or not I should write or meditate, once I got started, it was all uphill. I'm serious. I don't mean to say this to sound cliche or prove something. I'm saying what worked for me. There are days that I wake up not on the right side of the bed, and it's a bit harder for me to "snap out of it" or "wake up". Maybe this is because I need to meditate and write even more than your average person, I don't know.

The reason why I wanted to share this is because it was really magical that just during my meditation practice, I felt a sense of relief. It did not happen right away. It took at least a good 5 minutes into it, I think, but once I felt it, it was so real and it felt SO good. The meditation I chose to listen to had affirmations, and these really resonate with me. I like to hear a calming voice pretty much say all the things I need to hear for that day.

Meditation does this to me. It gives me a sense to wake the f*ck up (excuse my language). That's when I got to writing my Morning Pages. If you do not know what this means, it's from a book called "The Artist's Way", and it talks about every morning when you wake up, you do a "brain dump" and write 3 pages of whatever you want, it doesn't even have to make sense, it's to let go of whatever you need to. SO, another miraculous thing happened, as I started to write, I flowed with whatever I was feeling and half way through, I felt an even BIGGER relief off my shoulders. I mean, really...? It's crazy how doing things like meditating and writing can have such an effect. Does anyone else feel this way?

I started to realize that all my "feelings" were just that- feelings. I could either let them control me or I can control them. Yes, I noticed I was feeling a bit sad for whatever reason, but I understood that I, thankfully, have the power to use that energy for other things rather than dwell on that. By practicing these steps, I was able to get myself out. I got myself back to where I knew I belonged- a place of contentment.

I then got my bounce back and started doing things that made me happy, whether that was reading, relaxing with my cats, or doing things for my business. I felt better and this just proves that it doesn't matter what goes on internally, there IS a way out. There is a way to get out of that funk. We all have the power.

I'm not here to tell you that this technique will work for everyone that reads this, but I'm sharing what worked for me. Maybe it will work for you, and if not, then something else will. I'd love to know what you do to get out of your head, so we can learn from one another. I love to hear others routines on how they manage their emotions and get back to feeling like their best self.

I also think it has a lot to do with my nightly routine. I realized that it's so important for me to stay AWAY from my phone at least an hour before bed and an hour upon waking up. I read something that was sad last night before bed, so part of me thinks this is what set the tone to how I felt when I woke up. Do you think so, too?

What works for you?

I hope this post brought some value to you because I felt it in me to get real with all of you about the fact that not everyday is going to start amazing. BUT- it's up to us to change it or to let it drain us. What do you choose?

With LOTS of love,

Ash X